This black boy was figuratively told that he was less than in this society
UPDATE1: I spoke directly with Candice Tolbert and am awaiting a call from the Archdiocese. The young woman is Asian with white parents and there is a white boy that was also suspended. I am sorry and apologize for that mistake and omission. All three of my sources were incorrect on that. I believe one must be able to say when they’ve screwed up to ensure credibility is maintained. We are all humans. After speaking to the mother however, I must say that the framing of the article remains spot on. I will have a modification later.
It is 2015, decades after the Civil Rights act of 1964. The title of this article tells the core of the story. It is a story no different than a sanitized version of Emmet Till. To some that inference may seem like hyperbole. But first, here is the story.
According to Fox19 Now,
A 12-year-old boy is suspended from school for ‘staring’ at another student. It happened in September of 2014 at St. Gabriel Consolidated School in Glendale. The parents filed suit in Hamilton County Common Pleas court to try and get the suspension erased claiming the school didn’t give their son due process.
A Judge denied the claim, which means as of now the suspension of the 12-year-old stands. “The perception is he intimidated her,” said Candice Tolbert, his mother.
“My son stared at a girl who was engaged in a staring game,” she said. “She giggled the entire time,” she said from her Liberty Township home.
Court paper shows the female student “felt fearful.” The incident happened on a Monday. The school was notified by the girl’s parents on Tuesday. They allegedly notified the Tolbert’s son on Tuesday, but did not tell the Tolbert’s until Wednesday. By that time, their son had already written an apology letter, which the parents said they were unaware of until notified by the school.
To be clear, the young girl felt fearful of the black boy’s stare in some staring game. When the girl told the black boy to stop, he stopped. A white boy continued staring afterwards. For that, both the black boy and the white boy were suspended. Interestingly, this same girl, in another incident, aggressively poured milk on someone else’s lunch. What was her penalty? None. But the black boy was made to write an apology letter. Think about the psychological impact of that on a 12 year old kid. Early on they are teaching him the gradation of worth. And in that gradation he is less than.
It was great that his parent stood up for him and attempting to use a failed legal system to mitigate the degradation he endured. Even though they lost in court, deep in the son’s psyche, he knows someone has his back and did not fall for the preeminence of one over another.
This story hits close to home. We are a black family. When my daughter was in the fifth grade, three white girls were attempting to force her out of her front seat on the bus. She did not budge. The bus driver acquiesced to the demands of the girls and told my daughter to take another seat. Why would the driver do that? What must you infer?
When my daughter came home I detected a change. I finally got her to tell me what happened. I immediately went unannounced to see the principal. I told the secretary I was not leaving till I spoke to the principal. I told the principal the story and told her what actions I expected her to take. I told her the bus driver must personally apologize to my 5th grade daughter. I wanted no more. I wanted no less. The next day my daughter received her apology and her assertive bubbly attitude was back. She is 24 now with a full understanding of the cancer we have still not completely eradicated.
These acts of prejudice is a cancer on our children. And yet many wonder why some do not bother maximizing their efforts for success. They are asked to bare an extra load, that delta load. It is heavy and the outcome that much less guaranteed.
Why the earlier Emmet Till comparison? The intent of Emmet Till’s murder was to ensure that black boys, black men understood their place, understood the limits of their behavior around white women in particular and white people in general. This should be a past never revisited. Unfortunately it is still often revisited. The suspension of this black boy that was subsequently upheld by a court is but a different version of the same. There was no physical interaction. There was no physical injury. The white girl simply felt threatened. Is one culpable if their mere presence or stare makes another uncomfortable?
This is the double standard people of color speak about all of the time. This is the double standard many refuse to empathize with. It is made the responsibility of people of color to ensure their mere presence, their mere actions cannot be misconstrued as aggressive or making some uncomfortable.
Prejudice cloaked as fear however irrational is the excuse that police officers make for killing more people of color than anyone else. It is the excuse schools use to suspend more people of color than anyone else. It is the shield many use to justify an innate prejudice they refuse to take responsibility for and a prejudice they willfully refuse to purge from their being.
Come on America, it is time to give up this game. We ultimately all lose.