Many continue to wonder why men like Donald Trump and Brett Kavanaugh garner the support of so many Republican women. As someone who does not compromise his Progressive values but works extremely hard to engage civilly with people of all persuasions, I put out a call to Republican women for answers.
I wrote a Facebook post asking Republican women to reveal the reasons why they give many of these men the benefit of the doubt. I posted the following.
Facebook Post Question to Republican Women
I have a question for my Republican female friends. Help me understand. The reality is that women irrespective of party, race, ethnicity, etc. are abused knowingly by a sect of men that continue to carry the undesire-of-change-troglodyte-pathology. I understand we do not want any person falsely accused by a random person coming out of the woodwork. But why would one allow one's party tribalism to take precedence over this cancer that un-eradicated affects one's mother, daughter, wife, female friends, aunt, etc.? Dr. Christine Blasey Ford is just as accomplished as Brett Kavanaugh. Why do Republicans give him the benefit of the doubt more so than her even though the probability is on her side given the history? PS: And accomplished should not need to be probative. Just saying.
I have a lot of Republican Facebook friends and followers. It surprised me how long it took to get a response from a Republican woman. In the interim, there were many responses from Democrats and Progressives. Some women said the women were misogynists. But there were good analysis and differences among Liberals.
A Liberal woman attempted to do what many do not realize in the political domain. Certain principles do not apply.
People who put themselves in his shoes don't want to be called a rapist if they are not one and can't imagine Kavanaugh being one. People who put themselves in Ford's shoes don't want to be called a liar if they are not one and can't imagine her being one. Don't both people deserve to be treated as truthful until proven otherwise and or they admit to such? Wouldn't we want to be believed unless we admit otherwise in which case we want the chance to correct ourselves? If we don't ask for anything we wouldn't agree with, it ourselves if we were accused of rape or lying, this circus would stop. This should not be tried in the media. The hearings should take place under oath without assuming anyone is lying. Let each person who testifies be responsible for their own words, not the interpretations imposed by other people who should be responsible for their words respectively. And let Ford and the authorities in Maryland pursue the other investigation for sexual attacks that may not have a statute of limitations. Separate the two processes and timelines so this doesn't obstruct justice or impose pressures on either person's testimony or defense. If Ford is falsely misrepresenting or defaming Kavanaugh Judge or others by slander or libel, formal complaints should be addressed as well but separately. Not mixing these together which causes the messes of being tried in the media.
Another Liberal responded to what she considered a naive response.
Wow. I hope and pray you are never a victim of sexual violence. It’s a horrible place to be. Women die every day because people would rather “analyze” abuse than punish the abuser. At the end of the day, our laws ensure due process. Let Kavanaugh have his due process but not while sitting on the Supreme Court. He is unfit on so many levels. ... You don’t ask the victim to “work” with the perpetrator. You’re a woman. How would you feel if you came forward about sexual violence committed against you and you were told to “work” with the person who harmed you? Believe women. We don’t make this kind of stuff up. You and others women like you who think this can be approached in this fashion are rape apologists/sympathizers. It may sting to hear that but it’s the truth. Do better, for our girls.
One woman then pointed out a reality that not only describes women but every group that has been maligned or oppressed.
My question is why don't women support women the way men support men. Actually, that's not my question because cultural studies tell us why. Because men have always had the power. Very little of that power was left over so women had to fight each other for it. Thus, over zillions of generations instead of challenging male power women accepted it and fought each other. This is no revelation and I'm not saying anything that most don't know. So that's history. What I wrestle with is watching upper-class, educated women in our community continue this. I suppose they are comfortable with the status quo and fear change? IDK!
After a few hours, Republican women started to chime in. I called out one of the first ones for her tribalism. She simply called Dr. Ford a liar with no real substance to qualify her response. Another Republican woman took exception but spent more time attempting to justify her support.
I am a Republican woman. I have raised 2 accomplished daughters. I support Judge Kavanaugh, not because of party or tribalism, but simply because of truth & timing. If he had really assaulted her, she’s had 35 years & 6 FBI investigations to air her grievances. The fact that this went all the way through months of hearings & was brought up by Diane Feinstein at the last minute makes it sketchy. Feinstein had many opportunities to question Judge Kavanaugh & she did not. In addition, Blasey Ford supposedly can’t even remember the details of the supposed assault. What year, the location, or even the other individuals involved. If there was really an assault every detail would be burned into her memory. I believe she is lying and/or being used by the Democrats to derail Judge Kavanaugh. ... Besides, Judge Kavanaugh is going to be confirmed. I hope he remembers it was the liberal Democrats who dragged him through the mud and he votes against their agenda. Every. Single. Day. For the next 40years
That comment elicited my response. I combined replies within the conversation for readability without changing the character or meaning.
First of all, thanks for coming over. I was wondering where my Republican female friends were. You know as Left as I am, I maintain some modicum of objectivity. I admit that I do not know whether the judge or the doctor is telling the truth. In what I know about abuse, assault, etc. after taking training in many of the organizations I am in, Dr. Ford's behavior is not uncommon. I tend to believe her over the judge after other allegations. Is there politics involved? Of course. Liberals like me DO NOT want this man on the bench and we will do everything within the political domain to stop it. That is how Democracy works. Since Trump is in power, we know we will get someone right of center. It just must not be this one in my opinion. That said, I do not think the politics Democrats are playing is near as bad as that of denying President Obama his constitutional right to have at least hearings on his pick to replace Scalia. Democrats will forever and rightfully consider that a stolen seat. Personally, I think it is fair to expect some sort of reciprocity. ... I respect that you are anti-abortion. Believe it or not, based on how I was raised I am too. The difference is as a man I want to have NO responsibility to tell you or any woman what you can and cannot do with your body. That is between you and your God and only you will answer to that.
Now that I got that out of the way. In a Democracy, we need to learn that in the areas where we differ (which I have proven are not a lot when one goes issue by issue of significance) we fight like hell for our position within the bounds of civility and respect on all sides.
I do not like Trump because of all the reasons you would expect me to say. I will work like hell to get a Congress to serve as a backstop to him. I would expect you to do the same.
That said, there should be nothing stopping folks from having a cup of coffee together and being cool during the process. Let me tell you a little secret. The reason I do not fight or even resent my pro-Trump or right-wing brothers and sisters is that I know a reality few know. We are pawns. After this is all over, Hillary and Trump will be partying together and laughing at us all. It was never about the politics or the people to them. It's a sport. And as many destroy relationships, they walk away with the spoils. And that's why I keep a level head as left wing as I am. All my right-wing brethren should as well. ... I want you to do me a huge favor. Go see the Michael Moore film Farenheit 911. I want you to see it not for the anti-Trump portions but for the Obama and Democratic Party portion. You will see what I mean about all of us being pawns. And encourage others on the right to see it. You will be surprised. You see we need a new paradigm and it is not Democratic/Republican. Remember in a set of tracks the left and right rails are still going to the same place. We are all being conned.
My Republican friend's response not only illustrated her tribalism but something I preach all the times. You won't change people's mind immediately but with the correct narrative and tonality, you can crack the door.
Are you still in Kingwood? I actually would like to buy you coffee if you have time one day? I do have a couple of questions, genuine questions. ... I will message you my number. Thank you!
I am sure we will have a cup of coffee, disagree on the issues we see played up on TV 24/7. What I do know is that in the end, she will realize that Left Wing Progressive Liberals do not have horns. Many of these people have been so indoctrinated with a rather foreign reality to many of us that it is easier to just leave it alone.
After spending a half hour or so speaking to a woman in Starbuck a few weeks ago about health care, and student debt I had her convinced that Medicare for All was a good thing. Moreover, it was fiscally responsible with taxpayer dollars as opposed to the system we currently have. I did the same with student loans. Minimize the costs of these items, less overall taxes in the aggregate. Based on the tone of the conversation, the woman thought I was "one of them," a conservative Republican. She likely assumed that based on the area which is likely the reddest community in Houston. At the end of the conversation, I asked her if she realized I was a Left Wing Progressive, a Democratic Socialist. I wanted her to know with whom she agreed. She looked at me in utter astonishment. "But you are so nice," she said. I told her she should consider taking a couple of her friends and hanging out with Liberal Ladies Who Lunch.
Whenever we figure out the narrative problem, guys like Kavanaugh will get their due. They will cease to exist. In the interim, we fight.